God Uses Weakness and Misfits (Like Me)
All my life I have been nervous to be around people. That is why I never became a church pastor. I have an earned 4-year bachelor’s degree in Pastoral Theology. Go figure! When I sat in the First Baptist Church of Hammond main auditorium, I felt like everyone in the choir was looking at me, and it made me nervous, so nervous that I always kept my head down often during the preaching. I couldn’t help it. I tried sitting all the way in the back on the last row, but I still felt nervous. I once sat way up front for a couple months, by Dr. Hyles’ pulpit, because I wanted to sit close to the pulpit in my heart, but that was one of the hardest things I ever did. After a couple months I could do it anymore emotionally. Each service was a form of torture for me, trying to hide my nervousness. I used to pray for God to help me not to be so self-conscious, but I came to learn that this is just who I am, and there is nothing wrong with me. I am just a loner. I am a private person and like it that way. Unfortunately, that is why I will very likely never find a wife, because I am not a social person. That is just who I am. I am a lot like John the Baptist, whom my middle name is named after (John). My first name is named after the humble shepherd boy, David. I like my names that my parents gave me in the Lord. Jesus is precious!
They had a rule at FBCH that no one was allowed into the main auditorium after the offering, so as to not disturb the preaching. I used to deliberately leave my Bible on the church bus over by the train tracks, and then pretend like I forgot my Bible, and walk two blocks back to go get it, making sure that I was late, so I would have to sit in the side soulwinning room instead (where mothers with crying babies and other latecomers would sit) to watch Dr. Hyles via monitor screens. That way I wasn’t nervous, not thinking that the whole choir was looking at me, and I could enjoy the sermon despite the noise around me. I heard many great life-changing sermons while sitting in a folding chair in that overflow side-room at FBCH. I remember hearing the beautiful sermon titled: “Is There No King In Thee?” (video) from my chair in that room. That “King” is Jesus living in me as a believer. And if you are a born-again believer, you also have a “King” within your bosom too! I hope you will take the time to listen to this sermon for your edification.
I have often marvelled with admiration at how men at FBCH on staff, can sit on the platform like the rock of Gibraltar, emotionless throughout the announcements, special music and sermons, and never flinch. Wow! I sure wish I could do that! I would cry like a baby during the special music, because I have a very sensitive and tender heart. Every time a preacher mentions a sin, I would wonder if someone thought I was guilty of that particular sin. I wish it were as simple as just deciding not to think too much. Everybody is different. If you saw me in a church today, you would see me in a pew with my head down most of the time, listening attentively but looking at my Bible while I listen. I always look at a preacher when he says to “Look up here,” but it is a struggle for me to cope with my nervousness. I get nervous making eye contact with the speaker. I am a very expressive and passionate person, which is why I love the very expressive steel guitar instrument and music so much. So my nervousness is a weakness for me, which God uses as a strength, compelling me to preach in the only way I have set before me, on the internet.
Thankfully, as I have grown older, now at age 52, I am not nearly as nervous as I used to be. Strangely enough, I know I could boldly preach a sermon to a crowd of 10,000 people, but then I would feel awkward once I left the pulpit. My boldness is in Jesus Christ (Acts 4:13). If I weren’t so nervous to be around people, then I would never have made my website ministry since 2002. God is using my weakness, so that way He gets all the credit, glory and praise. I am just a humble broken sinner, who is too weak to even sit on a platform in front of people. I can do it, but you would see me get nervous and fidgety. I would be a spectacle. I am glad that God uses nobodies like me! Another one of my favorite MP3 sermons by Brother Hyles is titled: “Where Did David Get His Mighty Men?” God uses misfits, losers, people in debt, criminals, those who are down and out, the despised, the rejected, the unwanted and cast outs of society. THANK GOD FOR USING A SINNER LIKE ME! Genesis 32:10, “I am not worthy of the least of all the mercies, and of all the truth, which thou hast shewed unto thy servant; for with my staff I passed over this Jordan; and now I am become two bands.”
I love the following sermon from 1995. Brother Hyles teaches that we ought to love others and not hide our feelings. Many people are afraid to love, lest they get hurt, so they put up a defensive shield. I know the frustration of loving people in local churches, but they won’t love. They are cold, unforgiving, calloused and won’t give me a chance. They hold a grudge. We need to start saying, “I LOVE YOU” to others. Our churches today are afraid to love and be loved. Our country is dying for love and compassion in our churches. …
“Let emotion in. Let tears in. You’re missing life. Let love in! … America’s dying for a lack of love and compassion! And our churches are dying…” —Dr. Jack Hyles, a life-changing quote from the excellent MP3 sermon titled, “Take The Shield Down.”
“There’s nobody in this world that deserves your trust! And if you only trust folks that deserve it, you’re never going to trust anybody. Now I don’t know what you’re going to do, but I’m going to trust everybody!” —Dr. Jack Hyles, a life-changing quote from the excellent MP3 sermon titled, “Take The Shield Down.”
Isn’t that beautiful? Sure it is. I cried often at Harvest Baptist Church on Guam when I attended a few years ago, especially during the singing, because I have a tender heart and care. I like who God made me. I don’t want to become hard-hearted. I don’t want to grow thicker-skin. I don’t want to become tough and calloused like the dying heathen world. I used to feel bad about myself, wondering why I am so nervous to be around people, but the Lord showed me over the years that He uses weakness. It’s like the pendulum on a grandfather’s clock. That is, the farther the pendulum swings one way, the farther it swings the other way.
Dr. Hyles preached a wonderful MP3 sermon titled: “DON’T CHASE THE PENDULUM!” The flip side of being a very caring person is that I am also very sensitive. I admit that I am not comfortable being around people, BUT I LOVE AND NEED TO BE AROUND THEM!!! Everybody needs a church family. Thank God that He uses weak people and misfits like me. 2nd Corinthians 12:9, “And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.” 2nd Corinthians 13:4, “For though he was crucified through weakness, yet he liveth by the power of God. For we also are weak in him, but we shall live with him by the power of God toward you.” To God be the glory, great things He hath done and is doing! I LOVE YOU DEAR WEB VISITOR!!! I CARE ABOUT YOU!!!
I am just a nobody, but I am A VOICE! (MP3 sermon by Dr. Jack Hyles). Galatians 6:3, “For if a man think himself to be something, when he is nothing, he deceiveth himself.” As Brother Hyles used to say, “I know I am inferior but I don’t have an inferiority complex!” Psalms 27:1, “The LORD is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? the LORD is the strength of my life; of whom shall I be afraid?” So what strength I do have is in Christ, and the Lord gives me what boldness I do have. My boldness to preach THE TRUTH is the Holy Spirit working in me as God’s child. My parents dedicated me to the Lord at age one in the Salvation Army. I am glad they did that, and I feel and believe that God has honored their dedication through my life as a Gospel minister. I wish I could live my life over. I would do things differently. I would still attend Hyles-Anderson College. I have no regrets there.
Author: David J. Stewart (Owner of http://www.jesusisprecious.org/)