All My Life: A Testimony

Subject: All my life

Date: Mon, 16 Dec 2002 09:37:52 -0500

From: Jesus Christ is the ONLY Way to God <>


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All my life

sis. tracy

Dec 16, 2002

All my life I was supposed to know God. That was the whole reason I was created. To please Him and glorify Him. God made man with all good intention. That we should enjoy God and each other. He made a whole big earth and universe full of beauty, majesty and functionality–and then told man, enjoy yourself, be fruitful and multiply.

But man rebelled. And we are still rebelling today. THAT is why the world is a mess.

I was never supposed to cuss. I was supposed to be worshipping God all my life. I was never supposed to lie. I was supposed to tell the truth in love. I was never supposed to fornicate. I was to respect myself and others and remain pure and undefiled for marriage. If I had, I would not have slain the baby to cover up my defiled state. I was never supposed to make my own plans. I was supposed to ask God His.

God came down here and was slain on a tree to arrest my attention. My sins were so awful that nothing short of God’s blood could cover them. His love was so great that He did it–and then He left it on record in His holy word so all would know His great provision. All my life I was supposed to know this great love. But…

I walked around unsaved, careless, full of sin and not knowing God for 25 long, miserable years. But in 1991, He revealed Himself to me. I still don’t know why me. A lot of people don’t make it off the abortion table. Others don’t make it out of the club. Others don’t make it out of college. Some don’t make it home from the grocery store. They die in their sins. I deserved to die in mine, yet I made it out of the wilderness. I gave no mercy to the most helpless person in the world–a child in his mother’s womb. Yet, I received a mercy beyond my comprehension. “All my life” I woke up this morning with this in my spirit.

************CLEANSED INSIDE AND OUTSIDE.***************

In 1991, I believed in the Lord Jesus Christ and I believed in His word. The gospel told me that Jesus Christ is God manifested in the flesh. He was crucified on a wooden cross, died, was buried and on the third day, He rose from the dead. The gospel message told me that if I repented of my filth and believed this I would be saved. I believed it. In fact, I believed the whole Bible. I took exception with none of it from the beginning of my Christian walk–though I was reared without it. The Holy Ghost put in my soul that that Booke was the one I needed to be intimately acquainted with. For 8 months I couldn’t find a church. It wasn’t that I wasn’t looking but the places I visited were not lining up with what I was reading in that Booke. I was frustrated at the time that I couldn’t find a church, but now I see I was blessed. The good hand of the Lord was upon me protecting me from error. I never went into cult. Yes, I learned some bad doctrine, but the word took care of that. But I also learned in church how to get resources and teach. was not created in a vacuum. I had been a church worker and soul-winner for years before the website was created in 1996. I learned very early on that I was to serve the Lord. Man preaches a god that will help you with your plans. The Bible preaches a God that you serve in HIS plans. Man preaches a god that says you can stay in sin. The Bible preaches a God that says, “Come OUT from among them my people and be ye separate.”

The blood of God has purged my once defiled conscious. It is that powerful. Many Christians do not understand this, but the blood of Jesus cleanses you INSIDE (your mind/conscience) and OUTSIDE (your deeds/activities). No, I do not fornicate any more. I don’t go out dancing. I don’t walk around telling lies. When you examine my life, you won’t find me doing the things I once did. God has brought me back to Himself by His own blood. It was my sin that separated between me and Him and He has taken care of that. That is the POWER of the gospel–to release me from the sin that held me in bondage all those years.

Many profess Christ but DENY the POWER of the gospel every day. Some reading this email will take exception and gnash “Are you saying you are sinless?” They don’t want to hear anything about holiness. But that reveals who they are–the Holy Ghost will make you HOLY. That’s why God could say “Be ye holy, for I am holy” and “without holiness, no man shall see the Lord”. It’s certainly not by virtue of my own righteousness that I am holy. We’ve already established what I was. But I’ve been BORN AGAIN. I am NEW.

Over these 11 years that I have been saved, the blood of Jesus has cleaned up my outside activities. But it does not stop there. The blood of Jesus has also cleaned up and purged my once-defiled conscious. My whole mind was corrupt. But now, through belief of the truth (thy word is truth), my mind is now pure. That’s why the apostle could say he stirred up their “pure minds”. I have a spiritual mind now. I can discern a matter now. I don’t walk into situations like a dumb ox to the slaughter. I know what is right and I know what is wrong–and I choose what is right. When I do wrong, I do not accept it and I do not make excuses for it. I come clean with the Lord for He knoweth my thoughts afar off. He is perfecting me. His work on me does not make me mad or sad–IT MAKES ME GLAD. He is shining me up so I can worship and know Him at a higher level. So I can be of more use TO HIM. I don’t look longingly at the world in any aspect. I was a SLAVE in Egypt and I AM SO GLAD THAT I HAVE ESCAPED! If you love the world, the love of the Father IS NOT IN YOU. YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND YET. Please see

***************FULL OF SIN?************

One of the people on this list wrote me an email a few weeks ago, and signed off, “full of sin but forgiven, [their name]”. How awful. A serious manifestation of the antinomian false teaching pervading the church today. The next day, I was at Sam’s in the parking lot. I got out of the truck and

this signature block came back to my mind. I felt that my stomach was about to turn. I am no longer full of sin. I AM NOT. I am full of the Holy Ghost. Sin is an unwanted INTRUDER, not a welcome, close friend. The scriptures make it abundantly clear that King Jesus came to save us FROM sin (Matthew 1:21), not IN sin.


Christian people have not gotten a hold on Romans, because if they had we would be a powerful lot. We would LOVE the Lord enough to obey His word—and THAT connection is POWERFUL. The scriptures say that the kingdom of God is not in word, but in POWER. Paul told the Corinthians that when he came, he would not know the speech of them that are puffed up BUT THE POWER. What type of power do you see in the professed church today? Almost none. As a group, we are a hissing. Yet POWER is the heritage of the saints. Everything about us is to be higher than this world. Our families, our lives, our children, our discernment, spiritual intellect, etc. Higher because we are powered by the most high God.

The power will draw people to us for deliverance. Yesterday, I was in church. A church we’ve been visiting for about two years. As I sat alone (Chloe was sleeping) waiting on Big Daddy, I looked up at the ceiling and had a nice time with the Lord. I told him that if I was going to talk to somebody I wanted it to be for real. Church people will oftentimes want to talk about anything but the Lord. That’s not how I am. Anything outside the Lord bores me. Even if I am cooking, I’m doing that in the name of Jesus. Well, I sat there and the most unlikely sister came, sat down and started talking about her issues. The Lord let me make my points FROM THE WORD (not my mind) so deliverance was spoken. If she lays hold on the deliverance, she’ll be set free from her captivity. The Lord sends many, many souls my way. It is not always the most convenient time, either. But He has shown me that the people are not trying to get on my nerves. They need some help. A word from the Lord. AND I CAN GIVE IT TO THEM–THAT IS WHY HE SENDS THEM TO ME. This is the heritage of the saints. If you are strong, don’t please yourself. Bear the infirmities of the weak. Please your neighbor for HIS

good to edification. For even King Jesus pleased not Himself. He did not have to come down here. He was already the Word of God. Powerful. God Himself. But He made Himself of no reputation and became a servant. WE ARE SUPPOSED TO DO THE SAME THING. It’s something to look around and see almost everybody weak and almost nobody strong. It’s TRAGIC. There are things it took me a decade to learn and I could have learned them when I first got saved, but didn’t…

There is a famine in the land today. Not for bread nor a thirst for water, but for hearing the words of the Lord. We have a lot of Bibles in this world. Many of us own one or more. We have lots of tapes, videos, books, seminars, conferences, retreats, services, activities, etc. but where is the key of knowledge that King Jesus spoke of? Who will help us to understand the tenor, sense and meaning of the scriptures? King Jesus said that the lawyers are supposed to give it to us so that we can unlock the secrets of the word…so that it should yield its full strength to us. But alas! The lawyers (our pastors, teachers, etc.) have too much Dallas Cowboys and Washington Redskins in them. They are dried up. They get their sermons from a book of sermons, not because they’ve put in the hard study and received a word from the Lord. In fact, many pastors called themselves to the ministry. And to make up for their lack of anointing, they go to Bible college. Then when they go to Bible college, they’ll believe whatever they are taught because they have no anointing. Some come out hereticks and deny the Lord (I’ve heard from them), others have their papers, go in pulpits and spread the false doctrine they learned in school. I’m not saying every Bible college is purveying false doctrine, but this I know, many of them are being heavily used by the devil.

*****************YOU DON’T HAVE TO STARVE TO DEATH********

There is a famine in the land, but those who take up the fast that the Lord hath chosen are well fed and hydrated. That is the heritage of the saints. Everybody may be languishing, but you’ll be thriving. In Ezekiel 34, the Lord talks about the ungodly shepherd who fleeces the sheep. It’s a dismal picture of the state of the church today, but it doesn’t remain so. In the end, it says that the Lord will go and get His own sheep. There are things it has taken me a long time to learn because the key of knowledge is not flowing–BUT I LEARNED THEM ANYWAY. GOD MADE SURE OF IT. Man may not be doing right and teaching right, but if you get in the word for yourself, you can know the truth. The Holy Ghost will teach you and bring all things to your remembrance. Everybody else may be languishing, but you will be thriving. You’ll be like Daniel. When people come to you with their doubts and misunderstandings, you’ll be able to “dissolve doubts” like Daniel did. They will bring you an issue, you will answer from the word and they will know that is the divine solution. Whether they take heed or not, is not your responsibility. You just release the information, the seed into the air. The Lord will bring forth the increase.

*********************DECEPTION V****************

I thought “Deception V: The father of lies” would have been out by now. I’ve written quite a bit on it and wondered why it still wasn’t done. I figured I need further revelation, and that’s probably true. But lately, I’ve also started thinking, “Christians can’t get past sin, so why do they need to know about the devil? They won’t stop sinning their own self and deceiving their own self. Their mind is not right about the gospel, about sin, about the nature of God’s kingdom, etc.”

Hebrews 1 tells us that the sceptre of King Jesus is a RIGHTEOUS sceptre. His government is RIGHTEOUS. He is RIGHTEOUS. His people are RIGHTEOUS. His statutes are RIGHTEOUS. But we walk around saying “I’m full of sin”, “Nobody’s perfect” [not even trying to be], “Well, you know me,” “I’m just a sinner saved by grace”, etc. What is the use of telling somebody about the devil when they are like the devil to their own self? When they sit in front of the hellivision watching soap operas and fornication and adultery. When they sit and watch evil, nasty people cussing (“oh, it’s not that much cussing…”) doing their deeds? What is the use of talking about the devil when people will not frankly FORGIVE those that they have ought against? Their own sins are slaying them…

Many professed Christian people love sin while at the same time they are CURIOUS about the devil and the works of darkness. These people are in a dangerous situation. You need strength to deal with the devil. But sin makes you weak. So you are weak and trying to figure the devil out. If you are a weak Christian, you don’t need to try to tangle with the devil. You’ll be like the sons of Sceva in Acts. What’s the use of talking about the devil when man is a rebel his own self? People put a lot on the devil that they need to put on their own self. They are evil like the devil because they don’t listen to the Lord and His word. They disobey day in and day out.

Sin makes you weak. People in sin have no rule over their own spirit. If your besetting sin is gluttony, you’ll eat three cheeseburgers and go for a fourth–not because you are hungry or are deriving any pleasure from it–it’s just because you are an out-of-control glutton. You have no rule over your own spirit. And the scriptures say that a man that hath no rule over his own spirit is like a city that is broken down and without walls. A city in the old days had walls around it to keep out intruders. If you don’t have any walls, any intruder/evil spirit/deceiver can come in and set up. If you are walking around lukewarm and careless and sinning today, why not get down on your knees and ask the Lord to forgive you and help you?

God is infinite in wisdom and power and might. There is so much to know beyond the church “statement of faith”. But there is no way to know it but by obedience to the word.


“And this I pray, that your love may abound yet more and more in knowledge, and in all judgment; That you may APPROVE THINGS THAT ARE EXCELLENT; and that ye may be sincere and without offense till the day of Christ; Being FILLED with the fruits of righteousness, which are by Jesus Christ unto the glory and praise of God” (Philippians 1:9-11).

For Jesus’ sake,


“For they are impudent children and stiff-hearted. I do send thee unto them; and thou shalt say unto them, Thus saith the Lord GOD. And thou, son of man, be not afraid of them, neither be afraid of their words, though briers and thorns be with thee, and thou dost dwell among scorpions: be not afraid of their words, nor be dismayed at their looks, though they be a rebellious house. And thou shalt speak my words unto them, whether they will hear, or whether they will forbear: for they are most rebellious” (Ezekiel 2:4-7).

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