Christian Men Should Masturbate Too

“Obeying these rules may seem to be the smart thing to do. They appear to make you love God more and to be very humble and to have control over your body. But they don’t really have any power over our desires” (Col 2:23 CEV).

Why Christian men can masturbate

Masturbation has been so stigmatised by the Church that most Christians – men and women – are afraid to admit that they do it. And yet surveys show that both Christian men and women masturbate – even the married ones. The survey conducted by Christian website for all subjects sexual, ‘The Marriage Bed’, shows that Christian spouses within marriage do it; men more so than women. Survey – Masturbation in Marriage – The Marriage Bed

I don’t know the stats on the percentage of Christians who masturbate, but I get the impression that it is sizeable. In most of the Men’s Breakfasts, Men’s Conventions, and Men’s Breakfasts that I’ve attended, there is the inevitable discussion about pornography and masturbation, during which several of the men admit to both; and with each testimony, there are hearty “Amens” from all. And the guilt expressed by these guys, and the desperation of not being able to stop, is very sad. I say “sad” because they don’t need to – in fact, shouldn’t – feel guilty about doing it.

The Bible doesn’t forbid or condemn masturbation as a sin. One only needs to read Leviticus chapters 18 and 20 (a restatement of ch 18 but with penalties), to see all the sexual sins enumerated; masturbation is noticeable by its absence from that list.

Old Testament ceremonial laws

Leviticus 15:16 says; “When a man has an emission of semen, he must bathe his whole body with water, and he will be unclean till evening” (Lev 15:16 NIV). This verse is part of a chapter which discusses unusual or infectious fluids coming from the penis, but it can reasonably be taken on its own. It precedes another example of an emission of semen which occurs in the marriage bed: “When a man has sexual relations with a woman and there is an emission of semen, both of them must bathe with water, and they will be unclean till evening” (Lev 15:18 NIV). Note that the emission of semen in these two verses are separate acts, not a single act as in the GNT. Which suggests that the emission of semen in 15:16 can reasonably be inferred to mean it was the result of masturbation.

Furthermore, Deut 23:10 says: “If one of your men is unclean because of a nocturnal emission, he is to go outside the camp and stay there”. This most likely refers to a wet dream, but wouldn’t preclude an emission of semen resulting from masturbation. It is part of a group of laws concerning ritual or ceremonial uncleanness in the camp. It was not that an emission of semen was intrinsically sinful; rather, it was stated by God to be ceremonially unclean. If the emissions of semen in Deuteronomy and Leviticus were sinful, a sacrificial sin offering would be required; but all that was actually required for them was a ritual bathing and to be separated from the rest of the camp until evening which, for the Jews, is the beginning of the day.

Therefore, we conclude that it is the semen which is regarded by God as unclean, not orgasm, and not masturbation itself. This tells us that females can masturbate without sin because they don’t emit semen. The reason she had to bathe in water after sex, and remain unclean until the evening, is because the semen touched her. This applied to anything or anyone on whom the semen fell or touched.

These ceremonial laws were not only for masturbation, wet dreams, and the marital act, but also covered defecation in the camp (Deut 23:12-14) and a woman’s period (Lev 15:19-24). “For the Lord your God moves about in your camp to protect you and to deliver your enemies to you. Your camp must be holy, so that he will not see among you anything indecent and turn away from you” (Deut 23:14).

So, if masturbation is sin, so are marital sex, a woman’s period, and defecation. And we know that these are definitely not sinful.

Besides, this is all OT regulations for ritual and ceremonial washing. But Jesus’ death fulfilled the law and it is no longer binding on us (Eph 2:14-18; Col 2:13-15). As Christians, we’re no longer ruled by commandments and regulations because they are nailed to his cross. Therefore, an emission of semen is no longer an issue for God, and masturbation never was; it is a normal part of life.

New Testament laws

“Now for the matters you wrote about: ‘It is good for a man not to have sexual relations with a woman.’ But since sexual immorality is occurring, each man should have sexual relations with his own wife, and each woman with her own husband. The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. The wife does not have authority over her own body but yields it to her husband. In the same way, the husband does not have authority over his own body but yields it to his wife. Do not deprive each other except perhaps by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control” (1 Cor 7:1-5).

The principles Paul enumerates here are very important. They are not suggestions but laws; and they govern sexual relationships within marriage. But there are far too many feral wives who ignore these principles and deny sex to their husbands, as if they were in control of when he can and can’t have sex. Some feral wives limit the husband to certain days of the week or celebratory days such as birthdays. This is disgusting! Not only do they disobey and disregard their husbands, but also Christ (Eph 5:22-24), where Paul says: “Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything” (NIV).

God gave these laws to prevent sexual sin. Marriage is God’s antidote to and protection from, sexual sin, especially adultery. And the method he specifies is to limit the sex act to a husband and his wife and a wife to her husband; the sex act is only permissible within marriage. In it the two become one flesh (Gen 2:24; Eph 5:31).

God through Paul also takes away each spouse’s autonomy and power over their own body, instructing them to hand it over to their spouse’s authority/control. This prevents wives from becoming overbearing and from psychologically dominating and emasculating him. If a wife isn’t willingly submitting to her husband, neither is she submitting to Christ (Eph 5:22-24).

But the husband is not free of responsibility either. “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church” (Eph 5:25-29). This prevents the husband from going feral, and protects the wife from the various forms of abuse.

Furthermore, spouses are forbidden to deny sex to the other; this prevents the humiliation and emasculation of the husband by limiting sex to his birthday, and at the same time prevents a wife from becoming a bridezilla (Prov 21:19; 27:15). And it ensures that both spouses’ sexual needs are satisfied. But it doesn’t necessarily mean that the husband should demand sex from his wife when she’s not well, tired, or just not inclined – we each have different sex drives, and one needs more sex than the other to be fully satisfied. In such cases, the husband, for example, as an expression of love for his wife, can release her from her obligation to have sex; and then masturbate.

But it doesn’t stop there. God does not allow sexual abstinence between a husband and his wife unless it is by mutual consent, in order to devote themselves to prayer, and for a very short and limited time – see 1 Cor 7:5 above. The purpose of a short abstinence is “so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of control”.

Masturbation

And this brings us to the subject of masturbation. The word “masturbation” and even a discussion of it is not in the passage before us. Nevertheless, we can deduce it from what Paul says about Satan tempting people to sexual sin.

The first and most obvious question one probably asks when reading this passage, especially one who is unmarried or who is married but their spouse prohibits sex or restricts its availability, is: “What about me? What provision has God made for me? If married couples are to abstain for a brief period and then get back into it as soon as possible because of temptation, how are those who don’t have this privilege meant to cope? What has God provided for them…for me?

According to Christians who are overly strict concerning sex, unmarried Christians just have to live with the ongoing and relentless desire for sex. But if they don’t have a spouse, are forbidden to have sex with another person’s spouse, are forbidden to visit a prostitute, forbidden to have sex with other unmarried people and, for those inclined, to have a same-sex partner or casual and one-night stands, what is left? What option do singles have?

Well….a man can wait for a wet dream to “chance” upon him (Deut 23:10 KJV). But wet dreams aren’t all they’re cracked up to be. Following a period of a few-to-many days of not having an ejaculation, the wet dream comes at night, an emission of semen occurs, which doesn’t feel like a normal ejaculation and orgasm, and is more an anticlimax than anything else; and when you wake up in the morning you feel so horny that you don’t know what to do with yourself. This lasts for the whole day, at least, without a break. It’s so distracting and stressful, and produces the opposite effect of what we’re told it should have i.e. a release of sexual tension and the constant sexual thoughts which dominate the mind because of it.

There IS only one other option. Masturbation! There is nowhere else to go for a single person to find relief from sexual tension and temptation. It is human beings who demand that single men don’t masturbate. It is Christians, churches, denominations, who have placed this burden on Christian men and women! It is legalistic Christians who wish to be more biblical than the Bible and impose such a cruel restriction on godly Christians who are unmarried.

If masturbation is prohibited, it means that God is cruel, because he made humans to be sexual beings yet refuses a vast swathe of them any kind of sexual expression or relief. It means that God has provided an “out” for some Christians to be able to resist sexual temptations by virtue of their being married; but punishes those who are unmarried by denying them the means to escape the temptation while still demanding that they be celibate.

Is the Christian world blind?! Can’t they see that this is Satan’s doing? That he has managed to place people in the bondage of hopelessness and despair and make it look like God is responsible for this cruelty?

But God ISN’T cruel. He is a GOOD God. And he has made provision for his people to escape sexual temptation with the gift of marriage, and has also provided masturbation for unmarried young men and women, widowers and widows, bachelors and spinsters, and everybody else who is unable or unwilling or not ready for marriage. Paul tells us in that wonderful passage of 1 Corinthians 7 that he wished that all people could be like him – single, unattached to anybody in a sexual or romantic relationship, and celibate. But he recognised that not many human beings have that “gift”: “I wish that all of you were as I am. But each of you has your own gift from God; one has this gift, another has that” (1 Cor 7:7 NIV). This is important. Paul shows here that celibacy is not mandated; it is a voluntary choice and should not be imposed on anybody; and it becomes a curse because it is not natural, not normal to human behaviour and design.

The contemporary Church is still plagued with a perverted understanding of sex and what constitutes sexual sin, inherited from the early and Middle Ages Church. This is what happens when we teach false doctrine and try to do the work of the Bible and the Holy Spirit ourselves. But the apostle Paul warns: “Do not go beyond what is written” (1 Cor 4:6 NIV), another version has “Follow only what is written in the Scriptures.” (NCV).

So, Christian man (and woman), don’t be intimidated by other Christians who denounce masturbation and quote general verses which refer to uncleanness (another name for adultery) or other non-specific actions. Don’t allow your wife to pillory you if she catches you masturbating because she won’t have sex with you. She is the one who is guilty of sin; sin which is much greater than that of which she accuses you. Don’t allow pietistic, self-righteous Christians to lay guilt on you when they think you’ve masturbated. Turn it back onto them and demand that they give you a bible verse to support their statement; something that is written in Scripture (1 Cor 4:6); something that is a definite prohibition or condemnation of masturbation; something which says that masturbation is a sin. And don’t accept mere inferences drawn from verses, especially if they can (and should) be interpreted to have a different meaning.

Why Christian men should masturbate

There are several biblical, medical, and psychological reasons why men should masturbate if they’re unable to have sex with a spouse.

Reasons physiological

God created humans as sexual beings.

God created human beings with the ability to have sex. He created them to have strong sexual desires and urges. Sex is fundamental to human life; without it, humanity would disappear within a generation.
Men are created with an inbuilt factory (the testes) which manufactures sperm constantly. When the epididymis (the inbuilt warehouse for storage of the sperm) is full, it needs to evacuate some of the sperm which is stored there, as there is no more storage space in which to house it. If it isn’t ejected through the normal means of sex, it will come out as a result of a wet dream. But, one way or another, it WILL come out. It MUST come out. So, to deny an unmarried man the freedom to masturbate, is to deny the way he was created, and think to change God’s design. “I praise you because you made me in an amazing and wonderful way. What you have done is wonderful. I know this very well” (Ps 139:13-14 NCV).
Men need to have erections in order to have erections i.e. if a man stops having erections, scarring occurs within the penis, which makes it difficult or impossible to get an erection when it is wanted or needed. The old adage applies: “Use it or lose it”.
Studies have been conducted which show that men need to have 21 ejaculations a month in order to prevent cancer. These have been challenged by some, with the result that the essential number of ejaculations has been reduced. But as far as ejaculation is concerned, the adage still applies: “Use it or lose it”.
God, in his gracious kindness, gave humans the capacity to enjoy sex. It wasn’t intended purely for reproduction and preservation of the race; God designed sex to be highly pleasurable. This is evidenced by the fact of orgasm. Orgasm has the ability to lift the sex act from one of carnality to sublimely spiritual, and draws the husband and his wife closer to each other in a way that nothing else can.
Inbuilt, God-designed, sexual desire, ensures that humanity survives. It is not common, carnal, sinful, lust. It is God’s design for men and women, be it for reproduction or pleasure.
The clitoris serves no purpose in reproduction. It is God’s good design for women so that they can enjoy sex. The clitoris gives the lie to the claim that sex should only be for reproduction. Human sex organs were designed for pleasure, not just pure function.
Psychology studies show that ejaculation, whether by sex or masturbation, benefits mental health.

So, we conclude that it is evident from both scripture and science that masturbation is not only allowed by God but is necessary for good physical, and psychological and mental health.

And we can also conclude that we don’t have to restrict masturbation to those times when we are desperate. Just as husbands and wives are instructed to have frequent sex in order to overcome sexual temptation, so unmarried people are bound to masturbate by the same rule and purpose.

Because masturbation isn’t sinful, men and women are free to masturbate whether they’re married or not. For example, I once read an account by a married woman who always masturbated after sex. She waited until her husband had gone to sleep, and then masturbated. She didn’t do it because her husband hadn’t satisfied her; she did it simply because she liked it.

There is one last but significant issue to discuss. It is lust, and adultery committed in the heart. In Matthew 5:27-28, Jesus said: “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery’. But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart” (NIV).

This verse has caused more problems for men than any other I know. The mistaken understanding is that when a man looks at a woman and gets sexually aroused or even if he thinks she’s sexy, he’s guilty of adultery, even if he hasn’t touched her. Unfortunately, the translation above doesn’t fully explain Jesus’ meaning. What is it to look at a woman lustfully?

Fortunately, many modern bible versions give the true intent of Jesus’ words. For example:

“You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’ But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart” (ESV).

“You have heard that it was said, ‘Do not commit adultery.’ But now I tell you: anyone who looks at a woman and wants to possess her is guilty of committing adultery with her in his heart” (GNT).

“You have heard that it was said, ‘You must not be guilty of adultery.’ But I tell you that if anyone looks at a woman and wants to sin sexually with her, in his mind he has already done that sin with the woman” (NCV).

“You know the commandment which says, ‘Be faithful in marriage.’ But I tell you if you look at another woman and want her, you are already unfaithful in your thoughts” (CEV).

“You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery’; but I say to you that everyone who [so much as] looks at a woman with lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart” (AMP).

“But I say to you that everyone who so much as looks at a woman with evil desire for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart” (AMPC).

This is more than enough evidence to explain what Jesus meant when he referred to “adultery in the heart”. It is not about appreciating a woman for her beauty or sexiness; it is not about imagining what she’s like under her clothing; it is not even about a man getting an erection at the sight of a woman; or even ogling pictures of nude women as he masturbates. Jesus had men in his sight who wanted to commit adultery with another man’s wife; or have sex with a particular woman in his view or acquaintance, and desired to “possess her”, or “sin sexually with her”; or with any desire for her personally. Jesus had in mind men who intended to seduce, rape, or somehow manage to have sex with her personally. Jesus was talking about intent – about an evil act which a man planned to commit or wished he could.

Jesus doesn’t care whether a man gets a stiffy over a woman; that idea is puerile. One only has to look at the various sins which Old Testament characters committed, sins which we in our modern age with our inherited Middle Ages mentality don’t merely frown upon but get outraged at. For example, we frown upon Samson for getting the hots over a Philistine woman and demanding to marry her. But the text tells us that “His parents did not know that this was from the Lord, who was seeking an occasion to confront the Philistines; for at that time they were ruling over Israel” (Jud 14:4).

This same reason can be applied to when he spent a night with a prostitute in Gaza. But Samson subsequently performed an incredible feat of superhuman, Holy Spirit-endowed strength, by taking the massive gates of the city and carrying them to Hebron, a distance of 37 miles!

It can also be applied to his sexual affair with a Philistine woman named Delilah. She was his undoing; but when he pulled the supporting columns from the temple, he killed thousands of Philistines, God’s enemies.

But God never once said anything condemnatory to Samson about his sexual escapades. He never censured Judah for visiting a prostitute (Gen 38:1-30); didn’t even rebuke Solomon for having a thousand wives!

When King David seduced Uriah the Hittite’s wife Bathsheba, and then had Uriah murdered to cover up his crime, God rebuked and judged David, but he didn’t take Bathsheba from him; and their second child was King Solomon, wisest king in Israel’s history, and ancestor of Jesus.

So how does a man ogling a woman compare with these examples? If a man thinks a woman is sexy, or even if he gets a buzz from nude pictures, how does this compare to adultery? There is no legitimate comparison. How is a man or woman who masturbates in the privacy of their own home guilty of adultery, the penalty for which is eternal separation from God? The punishment must fit the crime, or else God is unjust.

Unless otherwise stated, all bible references are from New International Version.